Last Saturday night I saw the weirdest moon of my life. We were coming home from the movies and the moon looked sick. It felt broken and diseased. My husband and I could not get over it and to be honest, it scared me. Something was wrong.
That night I dreamed I met a psychic and I asked her about my future. She looked at me with disgust and said, “Stop lying to yourself.” I was shocked and so upset at the suggestion that I was a liar that I woke up.
I have not had a “real” dream like this in almost six months. Since then I have been plagued by nightmares. On Monday I woke up with a migraine, was totally dizzy and sick to my stomach. My neighbour brought over Gravol for me and I felt like the world was falling apart. Yesterday, even though I felt better, I got this sense that something was very, very wrong.
Turns out that on Monday Jupiter went retrograde. I have not felt connected to the stars or Nature in any way in so long and yet all of a sudden, they are affecting me profoundly. In order to figure out what I am lying to myself about I pulled a tarot card and got Justice which is connected to Jupiter! I also found this web site post about Jupiter going retrograde:
When Jupiter is retrograde, you should evaluate how you are not being honest with yourself because you are playing a role that is disloyal to your true self.
Which is EXACTLY what my dream told me. WTF?
So all of a sudden I am back in tune with the stars and moon and it is messing up my head and even health. What am I lying to myself about?
Perhaps I am supposed to get back on to the spiritual path? Maybe I need to forgive myself that things did not turn out the way I wanted them to in Nova Scotia and stop hating myself for being such an idiot?
Did anyone else feeling Jupiter go retrograde on Monday? Are you feeling a little wonky right now? This is supposed to be a time for getting back on the path, what do you think that means for you? Or me?
Hi Suzie.. I felt sick on the weekend, but I didn’t have bad dreams.. I am actually in a very stable place right now with my spiritual life thank god.. although a few weeks back, i went through a dreadful, dreadful doubting time..
don’t doubt what you have been doing with your foodie thing.. because I have never seen you more happier and together.. you are still making magick, it is just in the kitchen!!! and when you are like that, your health if good ..
I have some wise words from SR.K that I will try and find for you and will send them on..
maybe this is just a test.. to see how strong you are.. stick with what feels right.
and please email me anytime, I am always willing to help when I can xoxo
Suzie, Forgiveness and a return to your spiritual path both sound like excellent responses to all of this. Good for you.
I often wonder where our Pagan Suzie has gone to! 🙂 I know she’s in the kitchen, which is cool, but I also feel like there is more she always shared that was so inspiring.
Wonky doesn’t even begin to describe how I am feeling right now. So unconnected, yet connected if that makes sense at all. I’ve been trying to find my authentic self, and the while Jupiter in retrograde/Justice/Truth deal REALLY makes sense. Don’t worry you aren’t the only one struggling with this, I am so glad you brought this to our attention. Usually I only follow when Mercury goes into retrograde, being a Gemini and all, but I should watch the other planets better I guess… Thanks for the heads up, the way I am feeling makes a lot more sense now…
I think you will start a journey to find your authentic self, if you are holding a great deal of the past in, maybe now is an excellent time to let go. Be honest with your feelings, with your friends, and family, don’t hold anything back. This will be difficult for you, you are already one of the most authentic people I know, you bear your soul constantly. Good luck with this, I know you will find your path.
I have been very affected by the full moons lately and mercury going retrograde but lately I have been better. I think that things are a little “different” but still ok for us right now. What a psychic dream!
On Saturday I told my dh “The moon is strange, as if it´s upside down”.
I think maybe your spiritual life needs to be picked up again. Even in a small dose. do something for the solstice, even if it’s just a prayer and baking a special cake for the day.
I got the email alert that Jupiter was going retrograde, but I’ve been so busy I didn’t remember to check out the meaning.
What an odd dream! It’s amazing that you’re feeling this connection so suddenly. I’m jealous. It does make a lot of sense, though. I think this is a good opportunity to go back to your spiritual path.
I’ve been feeling wonky, but I assume most of that is due to having a cold and being stressed about graduating on Saturday.
Jupiter just went retrograde in Aquarius, but it is closing ranks on the superconjunction with retrograde Chiron and Neptune. Jupiter is one degree from an exact conjunction. Powerful stuff! The moon was full June 7.
Hi, Suzie!
Jupiter is Rx in my birth chart – so I’m ‘at home’ with that energy in some ways 🙂 I recall my favorite ‘meaning’ for that (in a birth chart) was following my own spiritual path, rather than looking to gurus or teachers! That they would be fine, but I was called to chart my own course!
So I also resonate with deeping with what calls/speaks to you NOW, bringing things from the past that are appropriate, & as our Guy says, rooting out some of the discards!
Don’t know if you ‘do’ flower essences, but some of those might be an aide now 🙂
& bless you, as you sort it all out! Jupiter will be ‘home’ for me when it moves into Pisces, so I’m on the cusp of a Jup. return 🙂
Peace
Suzie –
I could not begin to tell you what it means for you – you alone can and will figure that out. I can say from my viewpoint that it seems like something powerful and important is happening for you. A big process of discovery and healing? It looks that way from here.
So that’s what happened! I was wondering why I felt like I’d gotten knocked off the balance beam I’d so painstakingly climbed up on.
I’d see all these things together as a push for you to keep pursuing your spiritual path, maybe just in a way you hadn’t considered as valid previously. Good luck, I’m always rooting for you!
How interesting. I have been in a whirlwind of sorting, and cleaning, and reassessing, and thinking I should sit down and figure out a plan for myself! Change is in the air.
I’ve felt *exhausted* for over a week now. I’m also finding some peace in ways that I haven’t been able to, for a while now – some sadness here and there, but I’m grounding myself in what’s important, and am doing my best to go with the flow. This morning, I felt so at peace and happy – nothing much has changed outside of me,s o I must be doing something right. 🙂
I was glad to find your blog here. I used to read your “Sacred Suzie” blog, and missed reading your posts after you shut your blog down.