It is time to reveal why my blog has been so different for the last 3 months. I came back to Toronto when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. At the time we did not know how bad it was but as soon as the terrain thawed I flew out to spend time with my mom and help her in any way I could. We soon found out her cancer was terminal and we as a family did everything in our power to take care of her. She insisted on no boohoos or weepies but it has still been the most tragic of times.
Technically speaking, when Mom fell in love with Bernaise sauce in Europe, I did too. I travelled with her to fancy restaurants with my dad in utero. I always wondered if that was where my gourmet standards came from. Mom told me before she died that she thought my journey into food was very exciting. Over the last few years we had at last two calls a week about food, recipes and sharing kitchen stories. At Christmas she gave me my gastronomy kit and she spoiled me with mega cookbooks for my birthday. Even though I have been ripped apart at this loss there are no cruel enough words for, I will continue my journey into food. For me and for my mom.
For those who would like to learn more about my mom, my brother Jason wrote this beautiful obituary for her. She was an intellectual, editor, publisher, graphic designer, photographer and artist who was full of love and hope at all times. She survived World War 2 as a child but lost her life to cancer as an adult. Every time I take a photo in my kitchen, I know she will be there checking the angles and wanting to lick the bowl.
Mom, I wish I could have saved you. I wish I could have done more. All I have to give now is my foodie best. Which I will do with all my heart. Blessed be my favourite foodie. My heart is so empty without you.