Some disasters are worse than others. I have had so many screw ups lately I thought I would share them all in one post and try and exorcise the crappy foodie mojo from my life.
Most of it is entirely my fault. I got some really bad news that has just broken me down and distracted the hell out of me. I thought playing around with food would eventually help but now I am beginning to wonder.
Reg came home with all the breadmaking materials I had bought Lorraine when I gave her the breadmaker she has now returned to me. Including the yeast. Which is ancient. I wondered if it was still alive so I proofed it and it seemed to be responding so I made a pizza dough with it. And it did rise… barely.
I thought the worst that could happen was we would end up with a thin crust pizza. When the penny-pinching cheap ass part of my personality starts making decisions, I brace for impact.
Luckily I was right! And felt vindicated! Maybe I got cocky.
So I tried “waffling” zucchini instead of grilling it. Yeah, weird looking and just did not work, I know. And yes, those are marshmallows in my brown sugar. Apparently they keep it soft. We’ll see.
Then I decided to make our favourite bread in the breadmaker but I put the yeast on the bottom instead of on the top. What could go wrong?
Um… the tiniest little and densest loaf in the world instead of the big tall fluffy loaf we are used to.
Still, made pretty good garlic bread.
Then… it happened! I was turning to put the PC Blue Menu Pad Thai Sauce in the fridge when the bottle unravelled from the cap. It did not break but the sauce shot out like bloody shrapnel from a shotgun and went everywhere!
Along the floor, up over the garbage can, along the back wall, up to my counter, all over my island, up the wall, across the way onto the wall by my stove and yes, into my dining room. I was in the next room cleaning up when I thought, no, it couldn’t be on the ceiling could it? I look up.
Yes, yes it is on my white ceiling. I spend half an hour cleaning up the thick sweet sticky sauce, hoping it doesn’t stain anything. And the next day? I found even more sauce in the dining room. Gross!!!
The same night that happened, we went out to a pub in Bedford. Now I am in such a bad mood at this point that I know my mind isn’t exactly open and calm enough to do a review.
I am going to say that this was the driest and least seasoned fish ‘n chips I have ever had and I will never go back to that pub for the food. Blech! I never go out, I always cook for myself and to spend $12 on a plate of crap? Well that is why we rarely go out.
My blender has been acting weird. I noticed that over time, it was starting to take some convincing for it mid-blend sometimes. The other night, it would not come on. I had to make our smoothies using an immersion blender and a pasta container.
The day after the Pad Thai sauce disaster and the crappy fish ‘n chips, I took this video. It had been blending and then once again, stopped. Lucky I was taking this video when I tried to turn it on because I was one step away from smashing it with a hammer.
My life is a mess and sadly, that is manifesting in my kitchen. Oh well, what the hell can I do about it? I am experience an extreme lack of personal control in my life. I guess I should not be surprised that the anarchy is showing up in my kitchen.
I would much prefer it though if the kitchen became my sanctuary again. I have never need one so badly. I write this post in an attempt to clear away the crappy foodie mojo that is plaguing me. By sharing my kitchen shame, I start off with a clean slate. Well that is what I am hoping for.
Happy Monday, LOL. Feel free to express your own frustrations and share your foodie disasters here too. Or am I alone in experiencing this phenomenon?
i thought i was the only one having foodie disasters this week. i have been having major dental work done lately and the whole right side of my mouth hurts, so i haven’t been able to focus on really cooking or anything and half my meals….well, let’s just say there was a lot of chicken shnitzel last week b/c it was just about all i could cook w/out fear of poisoning myself or my boyfriend in some way. hopefully this week will be better….for both of us!
I really hope your kitchen will be a sane sanctuary again going forward, but be comforted in knowing you’re not alone. I’ve had a few doozies now and then and they really do seem to come in spurts, and then all is well again, smooth sailing and delicious.
At least you have a sense of humour about it, and to give your Pad Thai incident a paranormal spin, it kind of looks like you killed a few zombies in your kitchen LOL…can you tell I just finished watching The Walking Dead?
LOL, your kitchen looks like a crime scene with that thai sauce splattered everywhere! Hope your bad foodie mojo disappears soon.
No, you are not alone Shira but I am so sorry to hear about your dental work! Ugh, there is nothing worse. Hope you heal quickly!
Thanks Ava, I need all the positive thoughts I can get. Yes, it does like the Walking Dead have been here! And Debra, love the idea of foodie CSI. Totally works in this case. I have no idea how the bottle did not shatter and yet it shot sauce like 15 feet. It’s nuts!
Going to take it easy today and just make Reg his favourite cookies. He totally deserves them. Been a tough time.