I wanted to officially start the year with some major foodie confessions. For me, this is the one I am most ashamed of. I agreed to make another Dairy Farmers of Canada recipe and share it on my blog. I was supposed to make their Avonlea Clothbound Cheddar feuilleté with sweet potato purée and roasted tomatoes. And I didn’t. Ugh, that hurts to write.
They hand-delivered me all the ingredients including Krinos Fillo Dough, sweet potatoes, spices,
Cows Creamery Sea Salted Creamery Butter which I did not even know existed!
And this year’s Canadian Cheese Grand Prix winner PEI’s Avonlea Clothbound Cheddar. They even included a stunning marble serving plate!
I have come to the realization that even though it is so very easy for me to say no to projects I don’t want to do, it is extremely hard for me to say no to things I want to do. I get all caught up in the excitement of being part of a cool foodie project like this one I say, YES!!! Yes please!
When I said yes for this project I did not realize at the time that my depression would become absolutely soul crushing this holiday. I guess I should have considering it was the first without my mom and we have a terrifying year ahead of us. See, the kitchen is usually where I find solace and deal with stress. But not this year. I just could not do it. It was just too hard.
So I let them down because I was flattened on the couch with sadness and anxiety which is hard for me to admit but is true. As a result, I will not be taking on any more foodie projects like this until I know I can complete them. I hate letting people down and boy, did I ever this time.
Yes, I suck, and I am sorry.
I know exactly how you feel this week. My oldest best friend who lived with my family had to move to across the country for work. My other best friend is deployed to the middle east (so I worry about him every min of every day) and then my fathers heart gave out last week. On new years day. I think we both need large amounts of chocolate, alcohol, and cuddles.
Thanks for sharing this personal post. How did you feel after writing it?
PS: I am curious why you don’t have a followers gadget on your blog.
You do not suck Suzie! You are human!
I’d be inclined just to stick everything in the freezer until such time as I DID feel like doing it. And if that day never comes, oh well, c’est la vie.
P.S. Krinos is my favourite brand of phyllo. I use it when I make spanakopita, which I haven’t done for several years now. See? No schedule!
You are HUMAN darling … and we LIKE IT THAT WAY.
Oh Eielofview, I am so sorry to hear that distressing news and what you have been going through. It can be such a tough time of year. Hugs.
I did some changes to my blog and must have lost the follow feature but thanks for mentioning it, it’s back on!
Human, yes, that’s me. Thank you everyone! Group hug. 🙂 Dairy Farmers of Canada wrote me the sweetest note and they’re not upset with me at all and they’re just the best. I adore them which is one of the reasons I felt so bad. I feel better now thanks to all the support you have all shown me.
Glad you are feeling better, Suzie. Excellent news. And with that, I’m off to bed. You have yourself a groovy day.
You’ve been through a really tough time so don’t be so hard on yourself! You do an amazing job : )