I wanted to officially start the year with some major foodie confessions. For me, this is the one I am most ashamed of. I agreed to make another Dairy Farmers of Canada recipe and share it on my blog. I was supposed to make their Avonlea Clothbound Cheddar feuilleté with sweet potato purée and roasted tomatoes. And I didn’t. Ugh, that hurts to write.
They hand-delivered me all the ingredients including Krinos Fillo Dough, sweet potatoes, spices,
Cows Creamery Sea Salted Creamery Butter which I did not even know existed!
And this year’s Canadian Cheese Grand Prix winner PEI’s Avonlea Clothbound Cheddar. They even included a stunning marble serving plate!
I have come to the realization that even though it is so very easy for me to say no to projects I don’t want to do, it is extremely hard for me to say no to things I want to do. I get all caught up in the excitement of being part of a cool foodie project like this one I say, YES!!! Yes please!
When I said yes for this project I did not realize at the time that my depression would become absolutely soul crushing this holiday. I guess I should have considering it was the first without my mom and we have a terrifying year ahead of us. See, the kitchen is usually where I find solace and deal with stress. But not this year. I just could not do it. It was just too hard.
So I let them down because I was flattened on the couch with sadness and anxiety which is hard for me to admit but is true. As a result, I will not be taking on any more foodie projects like this until I know I can complete them. I hate letting people down and boy, did I ever this time.
Yes, I suck, and I am sorry.