Before I was Suzie the Foodie, I was Sacred Suzie. Before I was Sacred Suzie, I moved to Vancouver in 2000 and went on a health odyssey. Before the health odyssey I lived in Ottawa and my body fell apart and I found out that I had fibromyalgia. Before I moved to Ottawa I was just Suzie Ridler, Creative Writing and English major at York University.
Until I moved to Nova Scotia my entire life I had been spiritual, in one form or another. When spirituality left me I turned to food for salvation. As a writer, I needed a topic. As a photographer, I needed a focus. Food came to me and saved me.
Here I am back in crisis only to discover that I am an online dinosaur.
I have such fond memories of picking up Cinnabons with Mom, she loved them so much
Since moving back to my “home town” of Toronto, I have not heard from any of the PR companies I used to work with. I had contacted all of them, gave them my new address and… Nothing. I have since discovered (not going into specifics) it seems that no one is interested in working with bloggers. Basically my take on it is they want free advertising with social media influencers and do not want to work with critical thinkers and writers.
It is hard enough to have my marriage come to an end, my hopes and dreams of a life in BC die and start my life over in the city I fled from as soon as I could to come back and be abandoned by many of the companies I had done work for, for free, in the past. What a bloody kick in the teeth.
That said, I will still continue doing my own reviews for you because so many of you reached out to me on social media to tell me you want them. As far as I am concerned, I do this FOR YOU. NOT for THEM. You want it? You got it. I just have to be selective because the money will be coming out of my own pocket. Hence the product reviews I have been doing for under $10.
Shaman medicine? Hot chocolate. My kind of foodie healing.
So why bring spirituality into the mix? Well, I am in need of deep healing on many levels. My roots are in spirituality and I always said that I would try anything and everything to heal myself. As a result, I went to a shaman! Yes, a shaman. I went for spirit retrieval work but he told me I was a broken vessel so the spirit would not stay. He also said someone closed my first chakra and third eye which was shocking because he was bang on the money with where my troubles were.
The only thing he missed was my heart chakra. He the crystal on my heart and it physically hurt. Like, a lot. So much so that I could see in my mind’s eye it broke and gushed everywhere. So yes, I am a mess. He thinks that after my head-on-collision (which is when my spirituality died) that my spirit went into hiding. That resonated with me as well.
Finding a sense of safety and home again
So I am broken and shattered in so many different ways but now I know where I need to focus, what I need to work on and why the marketing world turned its back on me. I will admit I considered for a second or two what it would be like to become an instagram-only blogger but shut it down immediately. I am a writer first. I care about content and story telling. I aim for quality, integrity and truth.
As a result I am just going to keep on doing my own thing. Perhaps I am considered a relic in the online world but I care more about foodie stories than I care about hoping for sponsored posts. It may mean no one ends up reading but I turned off my stats so I won’t even know if that is the case. I started this journey to heal my life with food and that is exactly what I intend to do all over again.
Food saved me. Several times. I am not selling out for anyone. Popularity be damned.
Suzie, I admire and respect you for willing to share part of your life with us. A friend of mine has reminded me, lately, things happen for a reason.
Thank you so much Reuben and yes, I am sure this is all part of some plan!
Suzie, I celebrate your fierceness. There is nothing dinosaur-ish about keeping your integrity. You are a writer. You are a photographer. You have a critical mind and your own voice. Yay you for taking a stand for your self and your audience and continuing to tell the truth, your way. You are a rock star.
LOL, thanks Jamie! I love my fierceness and am so glad you appreciate and celebrate it to. Thank you. Yes, it’s tough to get knocked down like that but I won’t give in to pressure from anyone.
I first started reading your blog when you were Sacred Suzie and always thought your foodie journey was a sacred one too. What else is food all about than health, growth, transformation, responsibility, pleasure, friends and family? The same core elements as spirituality, it seems to me. Glad to hear you will be carrying on in the blogosphere!
Yes Debra, we have been online friends a long, long time including my Sacred Suzie past. Oh I am so glad you feel that way, I always considered my foodie path a sacred one too. Yes, all that good stuff! I know a lot of people wish I had stayed the way I was but I feel like this was chosen for me and is just as magical. Thanks for being such a good friend! And for understanding.
I too started reading when you were Sacred Suzie. I still have photographs I purchased from you and jewelry. I had always hoped you might do a cookbook. š
Regardless, I will continue to follow you on whatever mediumyou choose. Screw the sponsors. They just lost a voice in this overridden world of products.
Love ya!
chevy49girl
Yes Kim! We do go way back, I am so honoured. Thank you for your continued support and friendship. Yes! I won’t be bought. Time to do my own thing and tell everyone else to screw off who doesn’t want my support.
I am so happy that you have a lot of clarity about this Suzie. It is very painful I know but I agree with what Jamie said about keeping your integrity. I am excited for you as you continue on this phase of your journey. It creates more space for what is about to be born in your life.
I may be wrong, but I donāt think you would even like any part of social media explorations. I myself am leaving social media very soon because it has created so much anxiety in my life that it is affecting my own healing. I have been out of my marriage for a year and Iām going to be transitioning to blogging again. It has actually affected my brain in some pretty dramatic ways, including my concentration level and my ability to be contemplative by having a job that Is social media-based. So I will be going back to some old ways and Iām very excited about it.
And Iām scared too. I donāt see it as going to dinosaur ways, but as doing ādeep workā. There is a book by that name that I love as well as some YouTube videos if anyone is interested. I think this is a cutting-edge concept that pretty soon people like us will embrace and follow. If you want some encouragement look up anything about that and I think you will find a new way to feel happier about what is happening to you!
As always, I encourage you on your journey and look for good things to come in the future for you! Sending you love, xoO
Oh Olivia, I’m sorry to hear social media is being such a negative influence in your life! But I am glad to hear you are returning to blogging. That is exciting! Yes, it is much deeper work in general to do real writing. I think people are craving it and the PR companies just don’t get it. Thank you! I hope your journey brings good things to you too and can’t wait to see what you start writing about. Hugs and love to you!
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Dear Suzie you looked positively radiant and your smiles & laughter shared with your sisters on episode 91 of the StART program made me cry with delight. You look as if a huge burden has been lifted from your shoulders and I so celebrate your bravery and your clear, strong, focused efforts to heal. Much love and happiness await you and we are lucky to have you in our lives.
Wow, really Kaitlin? Thank you! I had no idea there has been an improvement in my demeanor at all, that is very helpful, I appreciate that so much. Thank you. I am working so very hard at healing and starting over. It’s been a very long and painful journey. Time for new happier memories. Awww…. I am so lucky to have you as support!!! Hugs!